Philosophy-types often argue about the existence of “free will.” The notion is that we either have the ability to decide how to behave or there is something–maybe our DNA or the laws of physics or social pressures or some combination thereof–that determines those decisions. It’s a typical “either/or” debate in the West. In the East and mystical traditions, though, everything is relational. “Hot” is “hot” only relative to the degree of “cold.” In this context, our choices are not “free” OR “determined,” but both simultaneously. We may have more or less freedom depending on our perspective and insight–try as I might, I am never going to play second base for the Philadelphia Phillies, but I can decide to be a kinder person, especially if I understand why I have been less kind in the past–but it is always a combination. There is a Native American story of a grandfather talking with his grandson. “We each have a wolf on both shoulders. One wants us to do good. The other wants us to do evil.” The grandson looks up to his grandfather and asks, “Which wolf wins?” The grandfather smiles and says, “The one we feed.”